Family Portrait (Page 6)

Dad called saying he hadn’t heard or seen from mum in 2 weeks. I didn’t think this was that strange as dad goes and visits friends sometimes a month or more at a time. Well, I think they’re ex co-workers. That dad built a strong bond with…but you get the drift. When I met my partner he thought it was strange that dad didn’t take mum. That mum had never met them but I didn’t really because mum knew so much about them. One couple he was helping renovate their house. Dad’s pretty handy when he wants to be. So, you see why I didn’t find it strange that dad hadn’t seen mum for a while but I did think it was strange that they had spoken. That’s when I started to calculate the last time I saw or spoke with mum and it was 2 and a bit weeks.

It wasn’t like I was ignoring her. It was just that mums can be a handful but a lovely handful, obviously. So, I hadn't got in touch and I guess she just up and left which I didn't understand why. Why didn't she just tell us that she needed a break for it? It's not like we wouldn't let her go. She's a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants. This is what upsets me about this family. We don't talk.

Dad even had to be questioned by the police. Not like us. Over the phone but down at the station. I knew he didn't do anything. He wouldn't. Well, I guess 9 times out of 10 its the spouse so I can't blame the police. I don't blame them. I blame mum. Mum, for going fucking AWOL and not telling a soul. Like no family, no friends. Why? Why?! Would you do that?!

Sorry, I just can't imagine going off and not telling anyone else. Even suicidal people leave notes! I said this to a friend and she informed me that something like 50% of the time people who top themselves don't leave a note. That can't be right.

I haven't spoken to mum yet. I'm too angry. I mean, I'm glad she's okay but I think if I start a conversation with her my anger will just spill out over the sides and that will make her even more upset and then I'll never see her again because she'll run away again or stay lost and people will blame me.

Dad says he's going back to his friends house so the house is empty for when mum decides to return and when she's back if she wants him to join her he will or he'll just stay up there. Like what? Last month my parents were together and I knew where in the fucking world they were. This week, it's uncertain if they're still gonna be my parents. I know they'll always be my parents but I don't know if they'll stay together. This shit doesn't happen when you're grown. It happens to families that are fucked up and the parents can't stand to be around each other. My parents don't fit that mould. I've seen parents like that. That's a fucking shitshow to be around. Lots of my friends' parents split up when we were young and they always used to tell me the gory details in minute detail. It was god awful. Especially going to each parent's house and how my mate would be treated differently and some would be used as a pawn, as leverage. The parent oblivious to how it's affecting their precious child. They would come round my house to escape the new boyfriend or girlfriend and would marvel at how lovely my parents were. How great it was that I had normal parents that loved each other. How lucky I was to only have one bedroom in one house and not have to worry about twaty bastard step mums or dads.