Family Portrait (page 4)

I knew he was married because he was a regular guest at the hotel I worked at and he always wore a ring. Well, he could've been in the middle of a divorce but he wasn't. He wasn't quite a silver fox but he also wasn't a sad, saggy 60 year old. I mean, I know I'm no no prize. The thing about me is I'm average looking. No-one would call me beautiful or even pretty but in the right outfit and a bit of makeup I can get by just fine. You're now thinking I have low self-esteem or some other bullshit like that but I don't know where I place in the fantastically harrowing and heartbreaking world of beauty standards.

What you want to know is why him, right? Why didn't I get a man who isn't attached? Well, that's easy to answer but you probably won't like my response. I liked him. I wanted to find out if I could love him and let's be honest. I'm not the one who's married. He is. That's his problem to solve.

Nobody at work as well as my friends and family knew he was still with his wife. They all believed he was getting a divorce when we first hooked up because that's what I told them. Then, I made him take his ring off when he visited the hotel or was with me to make the lie seem plausible. After about half a year of doing that I told everybody he proposed to me and I'd accepted. That was the easy part. The hard part was how to fake a wedding without inviting any colleagues, friends or family members. If you're in a similar situation to this don't be reading this as a guide book for how to cheat and get away with it.

Well, it's not too hard. What we did was we went on holiday to Barcelona and when we got back we told everyone that we'd got married. A spur of the moment type deal. Where in reality we just had a month's holiday. It was lovely. There were some people that were upset that they weren't invited. Like my parents and some friends but you can't please everybody

I never really wanted to get married. Fake or otherwise. But, he did. It was important to him. He said it’d get people to respect us as a serious couple, which I thought was hilarious as he’s already married so we can’t be THAT serious now, can we? Or, more truthfully, he can’t be serious about us and I’m not interested in how other people view us. I've never really cared how others view me or what they think of me as long as they're civil to my face and they don't talk shit behind my back. Or if they do, they better ensure I don't find out.

If I did care, I'd of asked him to leave his wife and marry me for real.

As you can see quite a lot of lying to people which wasn’t my intention. I just quite liked him and to be with him meant creating my own set of lies. I wish I could’ve been honest and told my parents and friends what was really happening but half of them weren’t my lies to expose. Hmm, I guess I do very much care what people think otherwise I wouldn’t be in on it, would I?