Family Portrait (page 1)

My whore lives round the corner from me and my wife. It's okay, I know what you’re thinking. My wife doesn't know…yet. I mean, If I continue to see her I’ll be caught with my trousers down. See what i did there. I made a funny. Well, I digress…my point is my wife is blissfully unaware and my whore is convenient. As all whores should be. I must stress at this point in the proceedings. I'm never gonna give her an actual name. Much the same as George Orwell did in that book where he slagged off Jews. Er, so…yes…whore very much local and my wife….yes, my loving, beautiful and oblivious wife. I'm also never gonna give my real name, my wifes or my kids. Yes, of course. We procreated and produced twins. Grown up, ain't gonna give their actual ages either. So you can fuck off if you’re digging for clues. But you know me. Right now you’re thinking that reminds me of (insert name here).

Okay, so I've given you the basics and of course you’ll learn more about them in whatever this turns out to be…and just in case you’re sitting there all smug, like the twat you are thinking you’ve got this all figured out and I’m actually Edward Norton, you can jog the fuck on. No I'm a real person, I suppose Edward Norton was but he was a mentalist. I'm not a mentalist. I live in an ordinary suburban town, had an ordinary job. I'm retired now. Yes, kids, I'm THAT old.

But this whore….. I loved her. I never really loved my wife. I was committed to my wife. Some of you will laugh at that and others will agree because you poor individuals are like me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't unhappy with my wife. I just….loved the whore. I loved the things I wasn't, as a man, supposed to love. With my wife…I didn't do that. Those things were a turn off. Grotesque things that you have to put up with day in day out because you are a loving, faithful husband and family man and that's just what these types of men are made of. Well, fuck that. I was devoted to my wife but I love and loved my kids just like I did the whore. The love you have for your children is different from the love you have for your spouse or partner and any parent will agree with me. Apart from maybe, you know the ones that are batshit and abuse or murder them. They aren't parents. I mean technically, lawfully they are but…Fuck, why am I banging on about this shit?

I met the whore after my children were adults and had moved out. So, it's not as you think I didn't fuck up my kids childhoods. If my son goes off and fucks whores in the future or my daughter becomes a whore herself it's not because I made them that way. They chose that lifestyle. And it is a choice. I could've stayed with my loving and devoted wife but I met this , well for arguments sake call her a ‘lady’. Although, I think it's incredibly cruel and mean spirited to do so. My point is I chose to create, build and nurture a life with the whore.

I haven't told you what I do for a living, have I? Well, you guessed it. I'm not gonna either but what I'm getting at is I met her through my job. My colleagues don't know about her - well, they do but they think she’s my wife. I’ve also told them I'm infertile so that's why we don't have kids and the dumb fuckers believe me! God, you can tell people a whole heap of lies and they’ll eat it right up. She knows about the old ball and chain and the kids - she has to. There has to be some relationship decorum in my world. I care about her too much to lie. Well, that and I couldn't fucking lie to her even if I wanted. That bitch has a built-in lie detector or something - I swear. She laughs and just tells me that I'm a piss poor liar. Which is probably true.